What’s extremely large, has thousands of things moving across it every second and requires extraordinary funding and engineering efforts to function daily to the benefit of almost every American?
If you answered “our road system,” then you were right. If you answered “Google,” you were also right.
That might be why Google is making a move to take over the management of America’s roads. “Well, we already know where all of the roads are,” said Larry Page, “thanks to Google Maps.”
Knowing is half the battle, according to Page. The other half is advertising.
“You think we’ve been building robot cars for fun?” asked Page. “No, we just want people free to look at our new AdSense billboards.”
With no means of enforcement due to the impending shutdown, most of the nation’s infrastructure is up for grabs. Youtube has moved into the former FCC offices. AirBnB is putting rooms in the White House on the service at incredible rates. Apple is already producing aluminum unibody tanks and fighter craft for the military, which they now run.
“Before, we couldn’t have passport photos that update everyday,” said Brian Pokorny of Daily Booth. “Now we can do that, because Daily Booth is running the Bureau of Consular Affairs.”
A proposal to move the capital to San Francisco passed the new Senate (dubbed senate.ly), a loose consortium of tech CEOs. Using prediction algorithms and preset voting preferences, it passed in a record-breaking 14 seconds.