Ruby on Rails creator David Heinemeier Hansson and seven other 37 Signals employees have committed ritualistic suicide to restore honor to their company and families.
The ritualized disemboweling came after public outrage over the “outing of a file” in the now infamous Signal vs. Noise post.
Their initial response did little to quell the overwhelming cries of injustice and calls for blood. Faced with immense shame, they chose the only way known to them: Seppuku, the go-to suicide method of the ancient Samurai.
“We have brought great shame upon ourselves,” said Hansson, readying a traditional Japanese tanto at his side. “We do now what we must. We hope that spilling our entrails here today rights the great wrong we have committed against the owner of the cat picture, who of course we cannot name.”
“Since our users’ privacy is of such great importance,” added Hansson, plunging the blade into his own abdomen.
Seven of his employees immediately followed suit, turning the 37 Signals foyer into a bloodbath.
“I thought their blog post was enough,” said James Stanton, Basecamp user. “But I’m glad to see they went ahead and put out a real, full apology.”
The corpses will be set out in the sun to disgracefully rot for “an appropriate amount of time,” according to 37 Signals’ PR department.