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Archive for the ‘Entertainment’ Category

Twitpic reveals new, celebrity-picture-based currency

In Entertainment, Startups, Technology on May 24, 2011 at 5:16 pm

On the heels of its controversial TOS overhaul, Twitpic has launched a new initiative bringing all the pieces together: A new currency system based entirely on celebrity photos.

“I’m so glad we can finally announce the second half of our plan, and put everyone’s fears to rest,” said Noah Everett, founder. “We were never planning to sell user’s pictures for money. Rather, we’re letting you use them as money.”

This picture of Paris Hilton's cat will soon be exchanged for goods and services.

Twitpic’s currency system has launched to compete with the likes of Bitcoin, as well as other virtual payment methods.

“Celebrity pictures are the perfect currency. They’re always being produced, there’s tons of them in circulation, and they have an intrinsic value.” said Everett. “Someone is always going to be interested in that picture of Britney Spears at a family BBQ. You can’t say that about paper money, or about a chunk of gold.”

“The currency is even kept fresh as celebrities become less famous, eventually fading into obscurity. We’ll look back at the days we shoveled dollar bills into furnaces and laugh,” said Everett.

The new Celebrity Photo Currency (CPC) allows Internet users to buy things online with the intellectual property rights of any celebrity photos. As of publication, the currency held strong, with 10 CPC (an assorted collection including Levar Burton family moments, Daniel Radcliffe’s toenail clippings, and Al Yankovic generally being weird) being worth 12 USD, or about two Bitcoins.


Donald Trump sues Y Combinator in reality TV turf war

In Entertainment, Startups on March 17, 2011 at 8:10 am

Donald Trump launched a legal assault today on Y Combinator, which debuted its self-titled reality TV show last Fall.

The suit alleges that the show Y Combinator heavily copies The Apprentice, which also features business-themed challenges and a showboat overlord of a host.

“It’s simple. I’m the one who says ‘You’re fired.’ Not that guy, even if he isn’t saying the exact words,” said Trump.

“You come to my town, you better be ready to face off with the big dogs.”

Y Combinator, which just started its second season in Silicon Alley in New York, ends every show at a Y Combinator dinner, where Paul Graham terminates a startup with his famous line, “We’re sorry to say we couldn’t accept your proposal for funding.”

Unlike The Apprentice, Y Combinator pits small teams against each other, awarding the winning teams $11,000 + $3,000n, where n is the number of founders in the team.

While the lawsuit does not specify damages, insiders say Trump’s legal team plans to use the expected catastrophic failure of this season’s Celebrity Apprentice as evidence of Y Combinator‘s negative effect.

“I fail to see any similarities,” said Graham. “We have challenges, sure. Omarosa is on the show. But this isn’t The Apprentice and I’m not Donald Trump.”

Graham quickly added, “Although they did ask me to be on the cover of Forbes again this month.”

Barbara Streisand caught editing Streisand Effect Wikipedia entry

In Entertainment on March 8, 2011 at 9:03 am

Mysterious edits to the Streisand Effect Wikipedia page have been traced to an IP belonging to Barbara Streisand, reports Tech Security Weekly.

“I just hate that people call it that,” said Streisand. “I heard that anybody can edit Wikipedia, so sure, I clicked around and made a few changes.”

Streisand’s publicist buried his head in his hands and offered a meek “No comment” when asked about the singer’s actions.

All changes to the page were reverted within minutes.

Keyboard cat baffles Oscar audiences

In Entertainment on February 28, 2011 at 8:51 am

In the latest example of an Internet meme failing to penetrate mainstream culture, Keyboard Cat fell flat in its role as the new ‘playing off’ music during the 83rd Annual Academy Awards.

“What’s the fucking deal with the cat?,” asked Melissa Leo, winner of the best supporting actress category, dropping yet another F-bomb after the show.

A brief warning clip of Keyboard Cat appeared to TV audiences whenever a speaker went over the allotted time, followed by another brief clip a few seconds later, followed of course by the cat playing its famous tune as the speaker hurried off the stage.

“I don’t get it,” said Jake Gyllenhaal. “Is it like an Internet thing?”

Several award-winners were hit by Keyboard Cat, including Aaron Sorkin, Tom Hooper, and Natalie Portman. Christian Bale’s campaign of terror against technical staff saved him from the cat, even though he too went over on time.

“It was all James’ idea,” said Anne Hathaway, referring to her co-host James Franco’s insistence that the cat be used.

“He reads way too much Reddit.”

When reached for comment, Franco drunkenly lashed out.

“You think I want to– the cat was a great idea,” said Franco, wildly gesturing towards guests at an afterparty. “Your faces weren’t. A good idea, I mean. They weren’t.”

Franco compared attending the afterparty to Aron Ralston’s harrowing Utah canyoneering experience, and then passed out on a couch.

Oscar representatives have confirmed that Keyboard Cat and Autotune will not be returning next year. No comment was given on the Tay Zonday hosting rumors.

Jersey ShoreVille latest in string of Zynga successes

In Entertainment, Startups on February 23, 2011 at 8:50 am

Zynga launched Jersey ShoreVille earlier this week, shattering their first-day signup record with a whopping 350,000 signups.

“I guess you could say we have a situation here,” said Marc Pincus, Zynga CEO, at a press event.

Jersey Shoreville is unlike anything Zynga has produced, according to Pincus.

The muscleheaded douchebag simulator lets users live a virtual life on the Jersey shore, competing with other virtual guidos and guidettes to maintain the most shallow, useless and generally unproductive lifestyle.

Pincus had the idea for the vapid cunt simulator as he watched MTV’s hit show Jersey Shore.

“In general, I think we had the right notion with Farmville and CityVille. We got people to waste lots and lots of time.”

A problem quickly arose, however. Users were spending their virtual time doing virtually productive tasks.

“We needed people to be wasting time while they were wasting time,” said Pincus. “And so Jersey ShoreVille was born.”

The game has three important daily tasks: Gym, tanning and laundry.

“GTL is everything,” said Mark Lambert, one of the first-day signups. “You have to log in every day and do that first. Don’t even bother creeping in the clubs or on the pier if you haven’t.”

The waste of breathable air simulator features several settings in which to interact, from clubs to the beach to the T-shirt shop. Lambert is one of the top players among his circle of friends, having just attained his avatar’s first high-profile public arrest.

Players who unsuccessfully manage the game’s deeper problems, such as relationship issues and alcoholism, are awarded extra points. It also leverages actual social ties to enhance gameplay.

“I called my girlfriend a whore in the game and gained two levels,” said Lambert. “I was pretty upset when she broke up with me, until I realized it detected the breakup and gave me two more levels.”

Fake is the worst insult possible in the game, but whore is worth several thousand points.

Lambert used the breakup levels to purchase the Situation Down There upgrade which allowed his avatar to more effectively lie about its herpes infection.

“Also, now that we’re no longer together, I have more time to GTL.”